A New Chapter
I moved out!
It’s been almost a month since I moved out (again) from my hometown, from my parents’ house. I thought I’d stay there longer. But, an unexpected opportunity presented itself in the right time. I think.
In my first post, I wrote about how I was in a slump, and how I was trying to put my affairs in order. I’ve struggled so much in putting my dreams into motion and for a very long time I’ve put them on hold. I tried to focus on my career and rebuild myself from the slump I was in. I was struggling and I’ve been trying hard to be best at what I was doing. And I felt the good changes happening. I was slowly going out of the slump and I was really trying. I knew I was, not only to satisfy my boss, but to make myself feel better about my job and about my personal life. I was feeling it.
So why a new chapter?
I realized I was doing things for the wrong reasons. It was vain. I felt pitiful, honestly.
I did questioned it for a very long time. I so much wanted to prove to myself and to everyone else that I was giving my best. I was quietly waiting for a promotion like it is some proof that I was actually doing an excellent job. I thought it would validate my sacrifices. It was the reason why at first, I declined the opportunity right away when it came up. I told myself and the person telling me about it that I wanted to stay where I was at. I was hoping that I’d see more progress and that I can still be of use for my team. I badly wanted to be appreciated. Months passed and I was feeling better about my work and as a person. But somehow, I still felt down. I felt there’s something missing, or that it didn’t felt right. During that time, I started to pray about my career and my personal life, and for direction. I was starting to question whether it was God’s idea for me to remain where I was or was it just me. That it is time to move forward. I contemplated for months and kept praying. I have always had this mindset that if the opportunity is for me, then it would really be for me. So, I waited it out. There were times that I would cry myself to sleep. I was troubled. Unsure if I made the right decision to stay or if I missed God’s timing.
During one of these days of questioning and crying, I’ve read about David’s story in the Bible when he told Jonathan about a sign whether he should stay or go on and flee. I never wanted to flee, especially that I wanted to prove myself to everyone including me. It felt defeating to just flee from King Saul. I didn’t want that. But as I was reading, when Jonathan shouted to David to go farther, I felt like the message was for me. Naturally, I had my doubts. Who wouldn’t? For someone who felt I had one too many wrong turns and misinterpretations of God’s messages, I didn’t want to make another one. I wanted to be sure. To really be sure. Or it would be the end of me. I thought.
Of course, I decided to sit it out once again. I felt a tug of war within me. What if I was just indecisive. That I am missing the chance. I kept delaying. I know, I should just trust God but instead, I asked for a few signs. I said, if it really is for me, then my family would be ok with it, the opportunity would still be available and my boss would be ok with me moving on. Months had passed. The same opportunity was again presented through another person. I talked about it to the people in my life. Long story short, everyone was ok with it, even my boss whom I thought would be against it. So, I applied and got accepted. I thought, perhaps it really was from God. After I got an ok signal from my boss, I cried to God. I knew, it was from Him but I was too scared to believe without questions asked. I first thought, perhaps it wasn’t the best time. We were short staffed and there was so much to do. But God proved me wrong.
I felt joyful. But it didn’t go without a few bumps after that. I had to wait a few months to get things going. Finally I was released from my previous position and moved on to another department within my current company.
This change caused me to move to a new city, a few hours away from my hometown and start leading my own team. Thus, this means a new physical and work environment, a new set of friends and teammates, and new life experiences. I was excited and scared at the same time. I know, what I am about to experience will cause growth. And there will be some whirlwind of emotions as I go through It. I have to be ready.
What happened then?
It’s been a month now since my transfer. I still have to wait for my official transfer papers. But things had been smooth sailing. God had been so good.
I prayed that when I get transferred, it won’t be too hard for me. I told God that if it really is from him, then he’d take care of me. I was amazed. It felt like he was saying, “I told you so.”
What happened was beyond what I imagined. I got connected to one of my dad’s old workmate and his family. They let me stay with them until I found a place I could rent. They took care of me like a family and helped me with finding a place. They introduced me to a wonderful community and helped me make some new friends. They found me a place with a family they could trust. The staff I would be working with welcomed me well and helped me get settled at work without getting too much stress. It felt like God already prepared beforehand and all I have to do is say yes. So, I finally trusted and moved along and let God amaze me at what he still has for me.
But, I have to admit I am still a bit anxious. what if I’d be transferred back? What if I’d wake up one day and realize that it was all but a dream. It felt too good to be true, especially that my official transfer paper is still on its way. But, I need to keep trusting God. I just closed a chapter of my life, Now, I need to keep going, to keep flipping pages. I know I am in the best hands.
How about you?
Are you going to stay where you are? Or are you ready to embrace a change in your life? Is it time to open a new chapter? Tell me in the comments. I’d love to know your story.
